Stung on the Ass by Vengeance

I was stung by a wasp thirsty for revenge today. K and I had stopped at Target to grab some essentials, and when I opened the door to get out of the car, there he stood (well, hovered, actually), my future attacker. I swatted carelessly at the wasp, and he dove for the interior of the car. Annoyed by his advances, I slammed the door shut, and quickly opened K's door to get her out. I surveyed the inside from the backseat; no wasp to be seen or heard. "Must've flown away" I thought to myself. Me and K made our way inside the store, and shopped for over an hour. I got back to the car, buckled K into her seat, and opened my door. I was immediately charged by the earlier mentioned wasp, and my eye was drawn to the flutter of his crippled wing. Before I had time to react, he dove under the flap of my polo shirt, and I felt the frantic beating of his wings against the back pocket of my jeans. I did an embarrassingly awkward dance trying to get at him, and after a few moments, I hear a 30something mother who had watched the entire incident say "I think you got him." There he was, on the pavement, injured and trying to scuttle away. I took two steps forward, and stomped him; once to kill him, and a second time purely out of wrath. At this point, I'm not sure whether to feel satisfaction or guilt. From the wasp's perspective, I did pin him in my hot car by slamming his wing in the door, and he had a good hour to hang there and do nothing but plot his counterattack. In my defense, however, I didn't maim him intentionally, and he did sting the phooey out of me. It was a horrible misunderstanding, and if I spoke wasp, I'd be more than happy to find his family and express my remorse for killing their loved one. Alas, I do not, and until we can bridge the communication gap between humans and insects, I suppose I will have to comfort myself with the fact that we were both just trying to survive. Luckily, I came out on top this time. I just hope his wasp posse wasn't watching and followed me home.

Looking over my shoulder,
RD