Motherhood and the Surreal

Recently, I found out that I am pregnant with my second child. The whole experience has got me waxing nostalgic about my pregnancy with K, and many different memories from that time have come flooding back in the last few weeks. One of the most notable (and hilarious) occurrences during that time was an extremely bizarre dream I had while in my second trimester. People are quick to tell you about the physical changes you go through while you are expecting, but, in my experience, no one really talks about the number it does on your psychological and emotional state.

This particular dream started off normal enough; I am in the local grocery store, waiting to be checked out. A woman behind me comments on my expanding belly, and we begin to talk about my pregnancy.

It is at this point that things take a sharp turn off of Rational Avenue onto Freak Show Alley.

The woman says "Can I see it?"

And I smile and say, "Sure!"

I feel the need to explain that while I was dreaming, none of this seemed out of the ordinary. It was as if a million other people had already requested to have a look at the unborn fetus growing inside me, but back to the story:

I reach inside my purse, and produce a clear plastic deposit bag that is filled with fluid and wires. I unseal the bag, and a tiny baby, about the size of a thumb, floats up to the opening, and peeks over the top. The woman, who under normal circumstances would be recoiling in horror right about now, says,

"Oh, she is just beautiful!"

I grin, so full of pride I could burst and say "Thank You."

I then turn back to the bag, lean in and give the diminutive baby a kiss and say "I love you," like I've been doing this for years.

Then, a tiny voice replies, "I love you, too."

I reiterate: the miniature baby living in the deposit bag has just spoken.

As if things could not get any creepier, as I start to close the deposit bag, the baby's lip gets stuck in the sticky part of seal. So, I calmly pull back the plastic, and give the baby a gentle push down to the bottom of the bag. The dream ends, and I wake up in complete confusion, which is followed immediately by horror.

Every time I tell this dream to someone new, I can never be sure how they will react. Some people, namely my family, think it is hilarious, but others just kind of look at me, stunned, and then laugh nervously. Maybe you have to know the depths of my peculiar imagination to fully appreciate it, I don't know. While this dream is perhaps a little disturbing, I've decided to share it to make a point: Pregnancy is a major event within your body, but also within your psyche. So important, in fact, that it causes your subconscious to concoct the most outlandish scenarios to help you deal with all of the changes. I believe that the best way to handle all of the new, and often odd, changes that come with motherhood is to laugh about them, and never take yourself too seriously.

So to all of you women out there who are pregnant for the first time, when your ankles become cankles, and you are worried about your abilities as a mother, take a deep breath, smile, and remember that you are going to make it, and take comfort in the fact that you haven't dreamt that your baby lives in a deposit bag.